Work Christmas Party Etiquette

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The infamous Christmas party season is a time of celebration. However, for some, it can bring on feelings of caution, regret and unease. You see, there’s always that one person that takes the whole let-your-hair-down sentiment too far, let’s call him Steveo. In today’s post, with a little help from Steveo, we’ll explore the proper etiquette and demure to bring to your workplace’s breakup function.

 Rule 1. Before care

Make sure you have a decent meal before you begin drinking. In saying that, don’t overdo it as it’ll probably end up on your shirt later in the night (looking at you, Steveo). Do some pre-dancefloor stretches to avoid going into the New Year with a hamstring injury. And, if the party has a theme, make sure you organise your costume in advance—the party shops are chaos this time of year.

Rule 2. Have a safe word

Make up a safe word, a safe word is a sure fire way to keep Steveo from telling ol’ mate Jono where to go, or from partaking in other questionable behaviour. Choose something both humorous and simple like ‘nachos’ or ‘monkey’ and, when Steveo looks like he’s getting a bit antsy, simply give it a shout and he’ll be sure to pipe down quick smart. Likewise, if you’re the resident Steveo, it’ll save you from a repeat of last year. You know exactly what I’m talking about.

Rule 3. Slurring = taxi time!

If you’ve started slurring your words, it’s probably a good indicator it is time to head home. Make sure you’ve organised to a lift, to share a taxi or otherwise. After all, there’s nothing worse than being stuck walking the streets trying to get to the closest train station or hailing a cab at the last minute. Cast your F.O.M.O aside (fear of missing out) and remember what they say, nothing good ever happens after 2am.

Rule 4. Just don’t be that guy

Go into the festivities with ‘Just don’t be that guy’ as your mantra. Don’t be the John Doe in the corner who passes out face down, leaving his co-workers to drunkenly poke, prod, and decipher who you are and where to send you home to.

Rule 5. Aftercare

Lastly, make sure that you’ve organised the appropriate hangover cures: water, painkillers, an easily accessible pizza delivery number etc. Your future self will thank you.

Now, can I get a bottle opener over here?

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